LOTS of Irrefutable Evidence that Bill Kristol is a TOOL

This is a challenging piece to create – mainly because there’s so much material to work with.

There’s a whole lotta dumb sh*t to sift through.

For those who don’t know who Bill Kristol is – he’s the editor of a craptacular magazine called The Weekly Standard – and to give you an idea of how truly awful this neocon rag is – National Review, the other crappy (and failing) neocon rag, has nearly 3x the distribution numbers of Kristol’s poopy bird-cage liner.

The Weekly Standard is such an insignificant voice in today’s political landscape that to discuss it further gives it far more credence than it deserves.

Yeah, it’s that irrelevant.

Bill Kristol has been a tool for a very long time.

Where do I begin?

Shall I go back to the 2008 election when he boldly predicted that Hillary Clinton would walk away with the nomination?

“Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single Democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.” – Bill Kristol

Nailed it

Or what about the time Bill Kristol declared 1993 as the “high watermark” for the LGBT movement.

#WhoopsLoveWon2015 

Then there was the time Bill Kristol announced how those “weapons of mass destruction” would totally clear everything up.

“The Iraq War will clarify who was right and who was wrong about weapons of mass destruction….It will reveal the aspirations of the people of Iraq, and expose the truth about Saddam’s regime.” – Bill Kristol

WMD’s sound a lot like sand and crickets

Bill Kristol also sucks at picking Republican winners. Here’s what he said to Donald Trump in a fairly scathing tweet (by a guy who smells like mildew and tapioca).

To @realDonaldTrump: I said I probably couldn't support you as GOP nominee for president. Nothing personal. You're just not up to the job.

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) September 16, 2015

Cough. Winners. Arent. Losers. Bill. Cough.

Recently Bill Kristol went “Full Dumbo” and started his own political party, which he not-so-aptly named The Renegade party.

Chugged a six-pack of Vanilla-flavored Ensure in 45 minutes #ImARenegade

The biggest problem with the Renegade Party is that the only thing they’re rebelling against is “being popular.”

It’s like “RadioShack” only much less “hip”

However, all of the wrong predictions and political blunders aside, what’s most troubling about Bill Kristol is what he symbolizes – a failed and bygone era that fostered the god-awful globalist movement and crammed neocon nation-building down our collective throats – and yet this political dinosaur refuses to go away.

He’s like that regretful one-night stand who you’re forced to eat pancakes with the morning after.

In all fairness, it would make sense for Kristol to stick around the political scene if he were more like Newt Gingrich who is clever enough to shape-shift and reinvent his point of view in order to remain “politically hip,” however, that’s not who Bill Kristol is.

Not even close.

The Bill Kristol of today is the same dusty old passé neoconservative Bill Kristol of the 90’s – lounging on a gold sofa at Central Perk with his friends Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, slurping java from gigantic mugs while pondering the next country to destroy and rebuild with that 90’s neocon pizzaz.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A……

The problem with Bill’s neocon mentality is that 1) it’s outdated and 2) it didn’t work. Furthermore, the majority of Republican Americans have reconciled our past failures and are anxious to move on and try a fresh, new America First strategy.

However – and this why Bill Kristol is such a yuge tool – he refuses to let go of the neocon 90’s. Bill’s hanging around like a bad case of herpes, serving as a dismal reminder of every political failure, outdated idea, and stodgy Republican cliche from the past two decades.

As we speak, Bill Kristol and his NeverTrump friends have traveled back in time to Central Perk, they’re lounging on a sofa with a giant mug of java, pondering which neoconservative candidate should be a spoiler against Trump and hand Hillary the win.

Nevermind that the majority of Republican Americans reject the idea of an independent candidate and have shunned Bill’s politics of the past – these selfish adult-toddlers couldn’t care less about majority rules or love of country. Their goal is to preserve an antiquated political ideology in order to avoid facing their catastrophic failures.

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year…..

Bill Kristol’s refusal to graciously step aside as new ideas and leadership take form prove what a useless tool he and his ilk truly are.

Amy Moreno is a Published Author, Pug Lover & Game of Thrones Nerd. You can follow her on Twitter here.